Tourist In Scotland

I was standing in Drumnadrochit looking over the Loch Ness
I’ve been waiting for something to happen
I’ve been waiting for the monster I guess – but
the only monster I saw was me in the mirror of my car
and from time to time the monster bus, spitting out tourists

I was talking to a man in Inverness, he said he saw it in the dark
and if I don’t believe him, better go on my own, so said Allister Mc Clark
last but not least I read a book about it: ‘The Plesiosaur In Europe’
it said it could be possible that something lives inside the Loch
surviving the ice-age – thank you very much

I never wanted to be a tourist in Scotland
I never wanted to be a tourist in Scotland
I never wanted to be – a tourist in Scotland

‘But now that I’m here I’m having my beer’, I thought while heading for a pub
I met a fellow named Ken he was as strong as ten horses and I think he knew that
he played a cool dart with a guy named Bart and they asked me to join in
and to my surprise I had to realize they wanted me to play for Lynn

Now Lynn was my girl and Lynn was my Lynn and as I looked at her she gave me a grin
and said ‘Come on honey, that must be funny and I bet, I bet you can win’
now Ken was so smart in playing the dart and so he left the bar with my girl
I had a whiskey or two and a chicken with chips and cried the whole night throw

I never wanted to be a tourist in Scotland
I never wanted to be a tourist in Scotland
I never wanted to be – a tourist in Scotland

Well now I’ve been to Loch Lomond and Loch Tummel, too
and the Queen’s View was covered with mist
I’ve been to Ullapool and Fort Williams, too because they told me I had to see this
I’ve tried to climb Ben Nevis in an hour fifteen,
at that time my feet growing bigger than my shoes
I had a puncture in Skye and I missed my boat and the rain was falling down like blues

And I thought about all those romantic pictures I once carried inside my head
and I saw myself dressed in a deerskin, outside a highland cottage
halfway frozen to death
and I met a bagpiper in Edinburgh, making music in the street
and the sound of his pipes were as sharp as knives, making my heart bleed

So I bought that MC and I took the next plane, Glasgow, Manchester, Berlin
and I knew while I was leaving I was losing it all
because I was leaving – hey, I was leaving my dream
and I said to myself

I never wanted to be a tourist in Scotland
I never wanted to be a tourist in Scotland
I never wanted to be – a tourist in Scotland


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